Monday, January 24, 2011

mentally deficient and/or homeless

winter is my favorite season, because it's cold and i get three weeks off of school. but winter, like everything else in life, creates certain problems. luckily for me, every problem has a solution - except for those problems which aren't solvable (like "why is DP so delicious?" and "why won't that weird rash go away?"). but sometimes solutions create problems, which in turn, need solutions. so here are my problems. and solutions. and a couple of pictures. as well as some white space to help organize my thoughts.

problem: it gets cold during the winter months.
solution: i was born with a heavy body-sweater covering my entire body, which pretty much mitigates this one. especially on my upper back, where the hair flourishes like the salmon at capistrano.

problem: my body-sweater makes me a body sweater.
solution: i wear shorts during the winter to help cool off. wait, i left a preposition at the end of that sentence. i think the proper way to phrase that first sentence is to say: "i wear shorts during the winter off to which i be my body cooling." yeah, that sounds much better.

problem: my feet get cold when i wear shorts, cuz the cold air more easily accesses my feet.
solution: i wear my Sorels with my shorts (and look really good while doing so).

problem: while looking really good with my Sorels and shorts, people such as my mother tell me that i look like i'm mentally deficient and/or homeless
solution: hold boobie and just hope that people notice her instead of me.

p.s. the night this picture was taken, kelly hadn't dressed boobie in winter clothes. she had simply thrown a hat on her, and wrapped her in several layers of blankets. so my homeless image wasn't helped as i pushed a heavily blanket-wrapped infant around in a shopping cart. but holy crap she's the cutest little homeless-looking baby ever.


Chance and Emily said...

Your mom is hilarious!