Monday, May 31, 2010

my heart is not pure, but apparently i do have the strength of 10 men

while my beard didn't provide me with the power to slay an entire army with a donkey's jawbone, it did give me the strengh to double-handedly break the c-clamp of my new vice in twain.


i'm sure the energy provided by my nightly bowl of double fudge brownie ice cream - topped with a fistful of marshmallows - helped.

75%



the better three out of four gents in this picture served (or currently serve) in the armed forces. i was gonna photoshop the pic to include my mom, grandfathers, uncles, and cousin (who have served or currently serve), but it would have been too crowded and uncomfortable for everyone involved. so today, i tip my hat to all of those protecting our interests near and far, and take a moment to remember those who laid down their lives.

the devil's huggin on my boots, that's why i own a gun

Friday, May 28, 2010

screwing the pooch

i like to pull my blog titles from things that are going on in the pictures i post, but i figured that this one would be better left to text. it's 3:22am, and i just finished doing some work work. i'm not sure how, but i totally messed up a project, and i feel like an idiot. i'm not particularly looking forward to self-loathing cuddling with me until i fall asleep tonight.

i started clerking with a public defender earlier this week, and it's really interesting to see the inner workings of criminal court. it is also interesting to see a ranting, raving inmate fire his public defender using no less than every single curse word ever created by man, including references to male genitalia, defecation, and certain acts that are still illegal in most of the southern states.

on an unrelated note, i found a picture of me and booby from when i first moved back. and don't fret, readers, the beard is even longer now.

Monday, May 24, 2010

it may be raining in baltimore, but it's snowing in utah


suck it, spokane. you couldn't produce late may snowfall if your life depended on it. utah did it today because it was bored.

keep your secrets in the dark

coheed's newest album came out earlier this month, and it kicks everything everywhere in every part of the body. here's their newest video:

little 'uns

on the way to utah from washington, i stopped in idaho at my brother's place for a family party celebrating the births and non-deaths of both my brother and my father. here are some pics of my handsome little nephews and nieceses.

home again, home again

the DAY that i got home to utah, my mom was so excited to have me back that she decided to catch a flight to singapore to hang out with my dad, who is there on business. and by "on business," i mean that he's there on business. murphy has kept me company, and basically for the past week we've just been sleeping 15-18 hours per day.



usually murphy sleeps in his "office," which is the mud room in between the kitchen and the garage. however, the night i got back i decided to let him stay in the room with me. this lasted one half of one night, as he decided to play a practical joke by hotboxing me without warning. it was a successful ambush on his part, but unfortunately for him he is now relegated to his office, where he can fart to his colon's intent (get it? i said "colon's intent" instead of "heart's intent," because he doesn't fart through his heart. i made a play on words. well, not really a play on words. it was mostly just words that i typed to make a sentence.).

earlier this week i went with chip, ruby, and kelly to brooklyn's 4th grade graduation presentation thingamajig. and yes, they actually thingamajigged. it was a presentation on utah, so brooklyn got all gussied up in her casual pioneer wear, and did a great job with her part in the program. after it was over, she and all her classmates went to their respective dioramas to answer questions.



though it was very interesting learning the things brooklyn taught me about sevier county, utah, the highlight of the trip was hearing chiP. the kid was blabbering away the whole time, and he can finally say my name. well, he says "cooooo-ey," which i assume is a reference to me, and not Duane E. Couey, a former leader of the RLDS church.

chiP's names for people are just all around awesome. he calls ruby "booby," and for whatever reason, he calls brookyn "pinky." speaking of booby, here she is.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

please look at me


there's nothing really funny or clever about this picture or this caption. i just wanted everyone to see how good my beard looks right now.

Monday, May 10, 2010

integrity shminshmegrity

dear person who smashed into the rear of my new car sometime between saturday evening and monday morning and didn't bother leaving a note or any contact information,

i'm going to hunt you down like a dog.

disdain,

me

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

chiP and ruby




people always talk about how cute their nieces and nephews are. and i think, subjectively, those people are right. their kids are, according to grossly lowered standards, cute. but check out these two. it's like someone shot them with a cute gun and then poured inappropriate amounts of cute all over their heads. they're so cute it makes me want to throw up.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

your mom has nothing to do with this post, but i wanted to mention her anyway

for whatever reason, once finals roll around, i seem to have all kinds of stuff to tell both of my readers. because i'm studying too much (read: playing video games and watching lots of Hulu), i rarely have time to sit down and just write. this will be sporadic at best, and totally incomprehensible at better.

MIA - if you haven't seen her new video for the song "born free," you haven't missed much. she somehow tried to make a political statement by showing naked fat people and gingers being round up by the police. the only thing alarming to me in the video was the naked fat people. i feel like our government should have started rounding up gingers a long time ago. (**video is graphic, btw**)

tricky sticks - around 9pm last night, me and my two study buddies decided to get some tricky sticks from pizza pipeline (despite all of the rhyming and alliteration that was going on). they were delicious and ultimately gave all three of us a tummy ache. after we went back into our study room to read, anne stated that she had been "tricky stuck," and that it was time to go home. today i tried to convince her that we should get tricky stuck again, but she declined. i told her that the choices we make define us, and that this would be a good choice. i was wrong, however, as the choice would not have been good, and would only have defined how many notches from its original position my belt would have to be loosened to. and yes, i just ended a sentence with a preposition at.

car - i bought a new car yesterday. she's a 2008 toyota corolla s, and after about 2 hours of ownership i began to notice the subtle, sickly smell of smoke emanating from the cabin. my buddy todd actually noticed it and pointed it out to me, so thank you to both new car and todd for ruining my day (note: todd further ruined my day by saying "your car is nice, just like the other corollas that are being driven around exclusively by high school girls"). tomorrow i'm headed to the dealership to complain, demand that they fix the smell or give me a different car, and then promptly back down because i'm not very good at confrontation.

we all need a place where we can go

and feel over the rainbow