Sunday, November 28, 2010

my run-in with the law

about a month ago, i went to my evidence class as per usual. when i got to the room, it was swarming with US Marshals and dudes in suits. my evidence professor is a judge, so i thought that either someone had threatened him in some way, or the marshals were there to pick me up for looking so good that it broke some federal law.

when i got to the door, one of the marshals had a roll for our class, and next to each person's name was their picture. the guy asked me my name, i told him, and when he found my name/picture, he said, "i'm going to draw hair on your picture," and then he proceeded to do so. i thought "i'm gonna punch you in the throat," but just said "ok" and walked into class.

once everyone was there, including The Hot Girl, the professor explained that he wanted to show all of us an in limine hearing (where opposing sides of a lawsuit meet so the judge can determine what evidence is admissible). he said it was too hard to get everyone down to the courthouse, so he brought the courthouse to us. sure enough, the stenographer, clerks, US Attorneys, and even the actual defendant (in handcuffs) and his counsel were there - along with the US Marshals. i had hoped that Raylan Givens would show up, but he didn't.

the judge explained what was going to happen, and before we began, he gave the head US Marshal the floor to explain a few things. i had seen this guy and a couple of his comrades eyeballing me as the judge was telling us what was going on. i figured it was because i was the best-looking person in the room, but it might have also been the beard, shaved head, tattoos, and stickers on the back of my computer:



so the marshal got up and explained that he and his coworkers were indeed US Marshals, that the guns they had were real, and that if we reached into our bags or made any strange movements, they would respond according to their training. at that point, this marshal looked at me directly and said, "and i've got my eyes on you, guy with the My Other Auto Is A .45 sticker." everyone laughed, except my beard, who growled and tried to get me to pop the guy in the nose.

after the hearing, the marshal (who had sat directly behind me for the duration) came up, apologized, and said that he just couldn't help himself when he saw the sticker. he shook my hand and gave me this:



that's right, i am now in possession of an official US Marshals lapel pin. and while i don't have my JD yet, i'm fairly certain that by giving me this, he deputized me and i'm entitled to all the rights and responsibilities of a US Marshal. giddy up.

5 comments:

The Jacksons said...

That's awesome.

Anne said...

That's rad, minus the marshal taking artistic liberties with your photo.

Chance and Emily said...

haha. this made me laugh! miss you coraaay!

Jen said...

Sounds to me that after a little hazing they're calling you one of their own. Congratulations, Marshal.

Anne said...

Ps, guess who will be deputized as a us marshal next week?

Yet another reason you should join DS.