Tuesday, January 19, 2010

feel really sorry for me

i'm sick. last week it started with a sore throat, which turned into a sore throat plus almost passing out in the middle of my legal writing class. the student health center is closed on the weekend, and since it was a 3-day, i had to wait til yesterday to see the doc. most of the weekend was bearable, as i was being comforted by ibuprofen, chloraseptic spray, cough drops, and a firm belief in a peaceful afterlife. and speaking of cough drops, who decides what the dosage of these things should be? after finishing two bags of 30 in the awake hours of a single day, i decided that i should probably look at the label to make sure they weren't going to kill me. "Dissolve 1 drop slowly in the mouth. Repeat every 2 hours as needed." after doing the math, i realized that i took 1000 percent of the recommended dosage. but other than a slight tummy ache and The Yellow Coating of Lozenge all over my teeth, i was none the worse for wear.

on saturday i contacted the on-call doc at the student health center, and he gave me vague, semi-useful instructions on what to do. "take ibuprofen and if it's not better in a few days, go to the student health center." the instructions that came with my printer were more helpful than that, and they didn't go to 12 years of college.

anyway, on sunday my mom called to check up on me, because i'm 28 and obviously can't do this by myself. she asked if i had looked at the back of my mouth, which i hadn't, so i busted out my trusty flashlight and peered into the abyss. it was like my tonsils had recently received massive snowfall and much of the precipitation had stuck. i just about puked as i tried to calmly explain to my doting mother that "it doesn't look too bad." to put it in perspective, when the doctor peered into my throat this afternoon, he recoiled, shuddered, and said, "i hope this penicillin works before that s*** kills you."

so anyway, i'm now on a massive antibiotic schedule, and i got my first decent night of sleep. i have class today, but in the interest of not being the subject of a documentary covering the epicenter of a massive bacterial outbreak in the Pacific Northwest, i've decided to stay home and play video games instead.

p.s. i'll probably use that excuse tomorrow, too.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

losing control

sometimes i feel as though my beard is slowly taking over as the dominant entity. it's as if it looks in the mirror in the morning and thinks to itself, "that bald guy growing on my back is getting really big."

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

one of these things is not like the other

no caption will ever be as sweet at this picture.

how little things change

even back then, my awesomeness made kelly and robby uncomfortable.

Monday, January 4, 2010

cool breeze

the best part of my Christmas break, besides seeing the family and all that jazz, was the 72 hour marathon of my favorite show, The Unit, on the sleuth channel. it was 259,200 seconds of pure, unadulterated, awesomeness. if you've never watched The Unit, you don't deserve to vote or have children.

this is bob brown, whose humanity covers the whole world like a soft, warm blanket. he also shoots a lot of people and rarely, if ever, takes names:

on one of the episodes i watched last night, i learned a valuable lesson. one of the operators was helping someone make a difficult decision; when the person he was helping said they didn't know what to do, he said, "here's a secret my boss taught me: if you did know the answer, what would it be?"

i struggled with something today, which weighed pretty heavily on my soul. however, after some contemplation and application of the above advice, i figured out the answer: yes, i should have a second piece of chocolate cake.


i am NEVER going back to the gun shop which i visited in my dream last night. the prices were ridiculous, the service was terrible, and for some reason the guy helping me was also, simultaneously, eating a nasty cheeseburger and pitching for the yankees.

this is a picture of me sitting angrily at the kitchen table, angrily eating my bowl of cereal (at 1:16, just a short while after i woke up).

Saturday, January 2, 2010

battling the beast

first, i held a staring contest with chiP, the loser of which was subject to a snow-wrestling match with the beast. upon winning, chiP took to his throne and rejoiced in the battle which was about to take place.

i bravely fought the beast.

then i took a nice picture with the beast, and chiP congratulated the victor of the match.