Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
i have a counter on my website, and one of the things it does (besides letting me see how many times i've hit the refresh button since the inception of this blog) is to show me the websites from which people clinked on a link to end up on this blog. most of the time people just type the address in, google it, click on a link from facebook, or ricochet here from someone else's blog. however, one dude in Hungary upped the ante, and proved that we are truly a globalized society. a creepy, uncomfortable, totally nonsensical globalized society.
i don't check it often, but the last time i did i noticed that someone from Zalaegerszeg, Hungary had come to my website via a google search. this seemed kinda weird to me, because i don't know anyone in Hungary, and i figured that only a fairly strange combination of search terms would lead someone here.
turned out to be strange indeed. on December 16, at 8:40 am, someone on the other side of the world was sitting at their computer, looking for a website that contained the following words: "weener," "writing," and "desk." yes, dear reader(s [i hope there is more than one of you]), some Hungarian was doing his darndest to track down the elusive Weener Writing Desk. unfortunately for him, he landed on my page, which has only a mention of my friend, The Weener, the desk in my house, and the word "writing."
i don't know who this person was, and more sadly, i have no idea what a Weener Writing Desk is. i want to track him/her down and see if they ever managed to stumble upon their sought-after treasure. i hope they found it.
p.s. Zalaegerszeg is in western Hungary, and you can read all about it HERE.
p.m.s. i offer this (edited, since this is a family-ish website) screenshot as proof:
Posted by Me at 12:17 AM
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Posted by Me at 4:14 PM
Saturday, December 26, 2009
you really have to meet murphy to adequately understand him. the problem is, he doesn't want to meet you. he wants to eat you. murphy hates most people and all feet, loves to lick faces, and is absurdly large. he is a gross, dumb, absolutely radass man-dog.
Posted by Me at 10:17 PM
Friday, December 25, 2009
murph and i had an excellent Christmas. woke up at noon and had breakfast with the family: scrambled eggs, sausage, and gramma jean's famous coffee cake. it was so good and i ate so much so quickly that i had my famous tummy ache. after that we opened presents, which turned out to be a more stellar experience than i had expected. i got two books, one of which i already owned. i also got a dish towel, camo sheets, a gift certificate to Wendy's, and a trip to the netherlands. A TRIP. TO THE NETHERLANDS. I LOVE. WHEN. PEOPLE. TYPE. LIKE. THIS. SO. I. AM. GOING. TO. DO. IT. TOO.
after presents, i countered terror on my xbox with my little brother Andy™, and then we piled into the car and went to the theater to see Invictus. it was good, though a little long (that's what she said), and upon returning home i played outside with murphy. it turns out that his lack of intelligence combined with his willingness to try new things and his inability to sense danger allowed us to have a good time in the 20 inches of snow that is currently sitting on top of my parents' mountainous backyard.
Posted by Me at 7:03 PM
Thursday, December 24, 2009
the day i landed in SLC, my mom retrieved me up from the LZ and we drove and picked up brooklyn from school. brooklyn had a book report mobile that needed to be made, so she and my mom and i picked up some supplies at the store and spent SEVERAL hours at mcdonald's drinking hot chocolate and creating something amazing based on the book Dark Day in the Deep Sea. her mobile had swedish fish and gummy worms on it - partly to convey the symbolic significance of the setting of the novel, and partly because i feel that all projects made with the hands should be edible.
i thought about making a mobile for the last book i read, which was the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. however, my mobile wouldn't be a mobile at all. it would simply be a noose i'd tie around my neck to symbolize what it felt like reading, and my knowledge being tested on, the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure.
p.s. i have to give a shout out to my beard, which is back in full bloom.
Posted by Me at 12:27 AM
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Posted by Me at 12:57 PM
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Posted by Me at 7:51 PM
2 years and 3 days ago, my cute, round, short gramma do passed away. i wanted to do a little tribute to her on the blog, but my parents' internet service has been out since i arrived in town (well, until now). so here it is.
gramma do was sassy and loving and grumpy and just an absolute hoot. i'll miss her calling me "babydoll" and all the coffee cans full of candy and a $20 bill that she'd give us for Christmas presents every year. she was her own woman and i know she's missed by a lot of people.
this is my favorite picture of her, because she looks like she's in witness protection.
love you, gramma.
Posted by Me at 7:43 PM
Friday, December 18, 2009
Posted by Me at 3:12 PM
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
as i write this, i have 12 hours and 42 minutes until my final final. oh look at that - i rhymed. i'm hoping that the 45 minutes i studied today will make up for past 4 months of falling behind on reading and surfing ar15.com instead of listening in class. good luck to me.
p.s. i'm not sure why the library provides free squishy noseplugs during finals. they aren't particularly comfortable, and don't seem to correspond with any of the traditional things people generally do in the library during finals.
Posted by Me at 8:17 PM
Monday, December 14, 2009
i was recently introduced to The Avett Brothers. they are brothers and not brothers, which, if i remember correctly, is a tautology. this is my favorite song of theirs which i've encountered so far. listen and enjoy.
Posted by Me at 7:03 PM
Friday, December 11, 2009
bubble-encased fetuses floating in the ocean? check.
creepy animation? check.
unauthorized surgical procedures? check.
one of my favorite songs? check.
Posted by Me at 12:37 AM
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Posted by Me at 6:56 PM
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
this is the weener:
the weener is very benevolent, gentle, and kind. the weener introduced me to the now-defunct band Rhetoric Tuesday many many years ago. i love both of their albums, but unfortunately they are no longer (however, you can buy their first album on iTunes, and i would HIGHLY recommend it - i wrote the first review of their album on iTunes). however, they sorta briefly became another band, Lander, which i thought sucked, and now the lead singer, Tyler Stenson, is doing a solo thing. to promote his solo thing, Tyler has put up 30 of his songs for free on his website, which is http://tylerstenson.com/blog/free-music/
his music is the shiznit, so you should check it out. my favorite tunes are #1 (alyce says), #2 (as of late), #6 (cannonball), #13 (mackenzie rides motorcycles), #21 (rome tomorrow), #22 (shade) and #24 (stand around).
i bought one of Lander's albums, and was really disappointed. not too long after my purchase, i got an email from Tyler asking me to leave positive feedback for him on the site from which i purchased the album. i responded to his email and said that i didn't enjoy the music at all, and that i was disappointed that rhetoric tuesday broke up. he actually wrote back to me, and we exchanged a few emails. seems like a cool dude, and he makes good tunes.
Posted by Me at 10:08 PM
it's 6 degrees outside, though i'm not sure if that's celsius or fahrenheit. i'm also not sure if i'm spelling fahrenheit correctly. i was going to go forage about spokane for food to help sustain me as i write a final exam for one of my classes. however, it's 6 degrees outside, so it looks like i'm staying in and having smores for dinner. again.
anyway, in honor of the number of degrees it is outside, i've compiled a list of six sixes.
6 - number of 4's of marshmallows i've had today
6 - number of times i swore while reading the directions of my last final
6 - number of times i've watched the movie "Honey" on mute
6 - number of sides contained in a triangle marriage
6 - total number of sleeves and pant legs in any given Goro outfit
6 - number of items in this list
Posted by Me at 9:10 PM
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
i was going through old pictures, and in doing so found a bunch with me and my dad. they reminded me of all the good times we've had over the years, so i thought i'd throw some of them on here. whether it's traveling together (11 countries, 4 continents), going shooting, or hanging out with dad's former coach Bobby Knight (whose first and only words to me were "you should have inherited your mother's hair"), my dad has always been a stand-up guy and the coolest dude i know. here's to you, pappy.
Posted by Me at 10:26 PM
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Posted by Me at 12:03 PM
Friday, November 27, 2009
Posted by Me at 10:57 PM
Thursday, November 26, 2009
i'm in The Land of the North right now, visiting both my distant and all-too-close relatives for thanksgiving. yesterday during the drive, we drove through jack in the box for lunch, and the total came to $20.04. mom said, "does anyone have four cents?" to which dad replied "does anyone have 20 bucks?" Andy™ and i laughed at the thought of paying for a meal when mom and dad were there.
mom's been taking a ton of pictures all day, so as soon as i get my mitts on them i'll put them up. until then, i've just got these three.
this is me and liv:
liv's good at a lot of things, such as (1) being cute, (2) drooling, and (3) creating/distributing absurdly disgusting smells. at 6 months old, she's only 13 pounds. by comparison, when chiP was 6 months old, he weighed about 42 pounds and ate his weight in food every day.
here are hunter and aiden:
hunter and aiden are two dudes after my own oreo-eating heart. hunter, on the left, is a simple soul, content with just enjoying his oreos while unwinding from a long day. notice his body language: relaxed but alert, taking the time to split his oreos in twain before consuming them. aiden, by contrast, is much more aggressive in his oreo consumption, as evidenced by the menacing look on his face and the 3 full double stufs he's chewing at the moment this picture was taken.
lastly, my new hat that my astoundingly terrific aunti terri, who lives in seattle and has a birthday on may 28, gave me:
i know that you're jealous, because right now i have on a limited edition HALO3 hat, which shows my support of and participation in the galaxy-saving strategic missions of the United Nations Space Command (UNSC). b-b-b-booyah.
happy thanksgiving, people.
Posted by Me at 9:47 PM
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
since i'm now a big-shot law student, i decided that it was high time to spoil myself. up until earlier today, the only pieces of furniture in my apartment were a computer chair, computer desk, non-computer desk, and card table, which should really be called a things table, because it's where i put my things, not my cards.
i needed a couch. you know, something on which to sit and think law school thoughts, like what the rules of discovery are, the original intent of the Framers in constructing the Bill of Rights, and how if you place the delicious icing layers of 4 oreos within the boundaries of the delicious cookie layers of 1 oreo, you create something so beautiful and deliciousy that it makes you wet your pants out of anticipation of consumption.
so i went out and found the most expensive, luxurious, refined, comfortable, and distinguished couch in my parent's garage, and it was delivered to me today. the first picture is of me playing COD:MW2 as i try to stay awake despite the couch's best efforts to convince me that it was sleepytyme. the second picture is of me having succumbed to the will of my new love seat. the second picture is also of my disproportionately long left leg which would falsely suggest that i am over 7 feet tall.
my radass little brother Andy™ is staying the night, and tomorrow we're heading out with my parents to visit our Family To The North. Andy™ and i watched the first half of The Jerk, during which time i spilled crumbs into the crevassesess of the couch, which is my way of marking my new territory. i also peed a little on one of the cushions just so any dogs that happen to visit will know what belongs to me.
p.s. this is the first blog post, but hopefully not the last, where i mention urinating TWO TIMES.
Posted by Me at 1:22 AM
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Posted by Me at 8:59 PM
Saturday, November 21, 2009
i know that there have been some rumors about my personal life swirling around both of the internets. i don't normally divulge many aspects of my personal life online, but for this particular matter i'm going to make an exception. i'm here tonight to just cut through the bologna and attempt to set the record straight.
yes, it's true that i once tried to eat a small child while he wasn't looking.
Posted by Me at 11:21 PM
i wouldn't say that i'm a lover of horses, and i think that is evidenced by the fact that my last encounter with a horse was a frikandel i had whilst living in the netherlands. however, this truly phenomenal song leads me to believe that if i were to be sent off to war, i would also want to be in the cavalry.
Posted by Me at 3:58 PM
today started off with such great potential. i woke up at 9:30, all pumped up to get stuff done. i was committed to getting all of my crap finished so that i can have a nice, relaxing evening. this is how the day has progressed so far:
9:30 - exited my slumber, all pumped up
9:30-9:45 - laid there, felt "pumped up" quickly replaced by lethargy
9:45-9:50 - made a cup of herbal tea and a bowl of marshmallow mateys
9:50-10:05 - ate my cereal. slowly.
10:05-10:10 - forced myself to make a list of all the things i need to do today
10:10-present - promptly ignored list, began watching videos my friend sent me of an Asian woman spectacularly folding t-shirts
i'm just as excited as everyone else to see exactly where this day is going to take me.
Posted by Me at 10:07 AM
Friday, November 20, 2009
being a grown up is the best. i get to do whatever i want, like eat cookies for dinner, stay up as late as i want, and leave the heat off in this frickin' freezing weather because i'm saving my money for ammo.
here's me taking a break from my big research paper.
Posted by Me at 3:38 PM
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
most people have no idea how much i loved atari, how good i was at showing off my legs, how round my stomach was, or how much kelly and i had the same chin, when i was little. hopefully these pictures will put all that to rest.
i'm pretty sure that first sentence had horrific grammar, but i ain't gonna fix it.
Posted by Me at 11:30 AM
Monday, November 16, 2009
as i'm sure two or three of you noticed, TheHolyBeardedOne.com no longer exists. it was a tough decision to not renew it, and after having it for 4 years, it's been kind of sad not owning it anymore. i didn't renew it because life is just too busy to maintain it properly - that, and the fact that i spent my $60 for renewal on a hat and marshmallows instead.
that's it for now.
Posted by Me at 5:58 PM